Friday, October 27, 2006

Friday

Well, my parents are on their way to KY and should be here by early afternoon. They left SC yesterday and drove about half way and got back on the road this morning around 9am. I hate them driving so far, especially in this weather (it's dreary and rainy). I dread even more that my dad will make the trip back home alone and will likely drive it all in one day. My mom's planning to stay a couple of weeks.

My OBGYN appointment yesterday was uneventful. My cervix hasn't dilated at all and she really can't tell if the baby has dropped. Next week I'm scheduled for an ultrasound, but I really hope I'm in labor by then! I'm 38 weeks and three days today. I hope she comes this week or next!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

25th

I wish I could write and say I had the baby, but no such luck! I was 38 weeks yesterday, so she's technically full term...maybe it will be any day now!
I haven't written lately because since my computer got a virus last year (and we've not had it reparied), we just have Frankie's laptop. He's been going daily to the library and taking the computer with him. By the time he returns, it's late and I don't even think about getting online.
Things have been a little busy the last few days. My family is coming up this week, so I've been cleaning like a mad woman. My dear husband is not exactly the epitome of tidiness and cleanliness. Unfortunately, even when he tries to help he ends up creating more for me to do. Yesterday I straightened his study (my parents will sleep in there on a blow-up air mattress). The study was very presentable and I was satisfied with it. Well, yesterday afternoon we went to clean the car. I wanted to vacuum it good before we install the infant seat. Well, we ended up with a grocery bag full of stuff that wasn't trash but had just ended up in the car...mostly preaching tapes (as well as a pair of shoes, a bookbag, etc). Needless to say, he brought all that junk in and threw it in the living room. I stopped him and asked him not to leave it there. Now it's here in the study in the middle of the floor, along with a sweater and about 20 books that weren't there after I cleaned yesterday! I guess I'll focus on this room again on Friday (before my parents arrive). If I wait until last minute, maybe he won't have time to mess up the room again. I feel bad if I complain because I know he's been working his rump off with school. He has over 700 pages to read by Tuesday, a paper due next week and another book due (over a thousand pages). I can hardly expect him to organize tapes and books.
I have an appt with my OBGYN tomorrow. I didn't see her last week because she was out of town. I don't know if it's because I'm getting so far along or maybe because I didn't see the doctor last week, but the last few days I've been very anxious and concerned. I feel the baby moving still (though maybe not quite as much). However, I just keep thinking of all the things that could go wrong. Frankie and I even had a discussion last night about the possibility of a still birth. I cannot imagine after carrying this baby 38+ weeks, not bringing her home. I think that must be one of the most difficult situations in life. A miscarriage would be bad enough, but to go through a full term pregnancy, labor and delivery and to have something so exciting and wonderful to end in tragedy and death. I cannot imagine. Frankie had even invisioned the doctor's rushing the baby out and her dying and him having to tell me. I guess maybe these thoughts and feelings are normal. And as unfortunate as it is, such things are always a possibility.
I do pray that God will protect this child and that she will be healthy and normal. However, if that is not His will, I pray for the courage and the faith to accept His sovereign will. Though I imagine that is much easier to write than to truly accept.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

37 weeks today

In one more week the baby will be full term! Hooray! I hope she arrives next weekend! Frankie & I went to our prenatal class yesterday. There was a pediatrician speaking, making suggestions on how to choose a pediatrician and all that. I have one in mind (only because the office is close to us), but I plan to go today or tomorrow and check out the office and ask them a few questions. We have only two more prenatal classes (next week is newborn care and the following Monday is breastfeeding). I happened to think last night that I may not make it to the last class. (Although I do want to since I plan to breastfeed).
I'm eager for my parents to get here next week. I'm excited about them coming up; I just wish my dad could stay longer. He'll only be here Friday and Saturday, then has to go back Sunday. (He has to work Monday and also take care of the dogs).
I don't think I've written about this, but I've had a dog since I could walk. We lived out in the country and everyone just had dogs. When I was around 9 years old, I got Spud. She was a mutt. A yard dog with no training, but I loved her. So my dad was all about me having a dog, but he firmly believed dogs belong outside. No dogs in the house, ever...steadfast rule I never even questioned. When I was 18 on Spring Break (at the beach), Spud died. When I was 15, we got Goldie, a Golden Retriever/Lab mix. She was a little fuzz ball. The first night we got her, she was so tiny and scared, I begged to let her sleep at least in the bathroom. From there she slowly took over the entire house. Now, at age 12, she is the Queen of the house. Since getting her, I also picked up two strays. One was a terrier mix that is so vicious. She is so temperamental! but I love her dearly! She's my dog. No one else can do a thing with her. (I love that). The last stray I picked up is about 4 years old and is so gentle and playful. We have no clue what's in her...she's just this big, black bear looking dog. She loves the pool and adores my dad. Well, when Daisy (second dog) came along, dad said, no more dogs in the house. She can stay outside. Well, she'd just stare in the back sliding glass door at Goldie. She, too, slowly made her way in. When Pawley (third dog) came along, my dad really fumed. She will not come in this house. Well, she hurt her leg one night and I brought her in. "Just into the back room" (laundry room with bathroom and treadmill). That did last quite awhile, but eventually she too made her way completely into the house. :) Since I left, my parents have bought gates (for babies) so that the dogs are confined to only four rooms. I think it's hilarious. My parents were always a little snooty about cleanliness and people having animals in the house. Now if someone so much as suggests our dogs are unclean or anything like that, my parents are offended as though they were children. :)
Frankie isn't a dog lover. He never had pets growing up (maybe one dog for a year or so), so he just doesn't get it. Recently we were in bed and I have assembled the bassinet for the baby right by my bed. Since we don't have too much longer, I've just left it there to prepare and get used to it being there. Well, I was sort of playing with it and got a fabulous idea. I turned to Frankie and said, "Do you know who this would be perfect for?!" He asked who. "Daisy!" She loves to be in a little bed and covered up. She also loves to be up high...in a chair, on a bed, etc. The bassinet would be perfect for her. Frankie looked at me like I just fell from Mars. "It's for our baby Amy!" Of course, I know that. And I do not suggest they share the bassinet, but I mean after she outgrows it. She'll only be in there a couple of months at the most. Then we can pass it down to Daisy. :) I mentioned to Frankie that I know Daisy misses sleeping with me. My parents won't let the dogs in their bed, but Daisy slept with me nightly for years. Frankie rolled his eyes and said, "bring them all up here and you and the baby and Daisy, Goldie and Pawley can just pile up in the bed. I'll sleep on the floor." I called him a troll.
Anyway, just thought I'd tell about my doggies.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

old, fat, frumpy

This morning I'm sort of having a pity party. I don't know why...maybe hormones. I blame everything these days on hormones.
I'm just feeling so FAT and FRUMPY and OLD and UGH! My family isn't really helpful...in fact, I think they are making it worse. Here are a couple of examples:
A few days ago, my mom told me she bought me a new pair of pants that she'd bring when she comes up here in a couple of weeks. I said, "Oh, great...maternity pants or what?" She says, "No, these are for after the baby...their a size 8."
[So I was a size 8 in February when I got pregnant. But I'm confident I've not seen that size since May and equally confident I won't see that size again until next May!] I tell my mom that I won't be able to wear them for awhile and she replies, "Oh, yes you will. You aren't going to stay fat." My mom is about 5'10, 130 lbs. She's always been really slender and I'm sure the thought of me being/staying fat horrifies her. She's not very lenient with people who have 'weight problems.' Her solution is always: "Push yourself away from the table!"
The second situation was recently when Frankie & I were in a restaurant. We were waiting for our table and I got a little down thinking about aging. There were two old couples there and they were feeble and couldn't walk well. I just felt sad for them and thought that they may be in pain and/or that one may die soon and leave the other alone. So a few minutes passed and Frankie asked me what was wrong. My typical response (it's a girl thing, I guess), "Nothing." He persists, so I tell him..."I don't know...I guess just thought of getting old." He kind of snickers and and says to me, "No, it's probably because you're looking at all the thin, little waitresses and hostesses running around here." UNBELIEVABLE. I called him a horrible husband! Of course, after that I felt fat and frumpy!
I am eager to have this child and lose weight and feel like I'm in my body again, BUT I really have enjoyed being pregnant and of course, wouldn't change a thing! I'm just thankful pregnancy lasts 9 months...what if it lasted like 2 years or something!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Food!

I tell ya, there's not much better than a good sandwich and I just had one of the best! (#2)

Favorite sandwiches:

1. Grilled cheese with a little Duke's mayo (I think Duke's mayo is limited to the South. We have to bring it here to KY from SC).

2. Fried bologna with a little mustard, some cheese and raw onion.

3. Pork BBQ with Duke's mayo and some Texas Pete hot sauce.

4. Tomatoe with Duke's mayo, salt and pepper.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Another day

Yesterday we didn't go to church in Munfordville, but instead visited a nearby church (Clifton Baptist Church). Many seminary students attend the services there and the pastor is one of the NT prof's here at SBTS. The prayer meeting was pretty typical, and a missionary gave a presentation on Romania & Moldova.
I think we'll likely attend the serivces there if we aren't in Munfordville.
I have class in an hour and a half. I don't really feel like going, but I have a paper due and since I know I'll miss class time in the (near) future, I have to go.

Last night I slept on the couch, which is like the 4th or 5th time I've done so lately. I feel bad about it because I feel like I should be sleeping in bed with my husband, but I just cannot get comfortable these days. (And I feel guilty that I'm keeping him awake with my tossing and turning). I think I like the couch because I can lay comfortably on my side. Anyway, I slept well after moving to the couch.

Yesterday Frankie and I had a discussion about plans for Christmas. UGH...what a hassle it is when you marry and you attempt to rearrange tradition! With a new baby coming, we're trying to figure out how we want to arrange schedules, meals, visits to family, etc. I am absolutely selfish and want to spend every spare moment with my family. I know that's impossible and I won't be doing that, but it's what I want! So anyway, last Christmas was a mess, so we're really determined to do better this time and schedule in advance.
The problem, of course, is that he's used to being with one side of his family on Christmas Eve, his parents Christmas morning, and the other side of his family on Christmas afternoon. Obviously, that won't work. I, on the other hand, am used to doing almost exactly the same thing. Since my grandmother died we no longer spend Christmas Eve with my dad's family...also my dad's siblings have kids now so they have their private family gatherings. Anyway, with a newborn it's going to be difficult, but we decided to devote all day Christmas Eve to his family and Christmas day to my family. Since our families are an hour apart, it makes more sense to go somewhere and stay there versus driving back and forth for various meals (we'd spend more time driving than actually with family). Frankie's sister has twins that are about 6 months old, so I guess it's time for his parents, sister and brother to start their own traditions anyway. I guess that will be on Christmas Eve evening. The same is true for my parents since they will be grandparents!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

10-10-06

Well, I haven't blogged since Sunday morning, so I have some catching up to do. Sunday was interesting! We had our usual Sunday school class in Ms. Hilda's apartment. The apartment complex has mostly elderly that aren't really able (in some cases they simply aren't willing) to go to church for an hour, so we do a thirty minute class there and many of the elderly women come. Anyway, after SS we went on to church. Afterwards we were supposed to eat with an elderly lady in the church. She cannot see well, but she invites us to eat with her every so often. She manages to cook a huge meal and I admire her willingness to take on such a task. Initially I did have concerns about eating the food. That has been a concern with many people we eat with (especially those that you SEE lick their fingers, then handle the food...ick), BUT God has really helped me overcome that!
Anyway, church went well, but afterwards, my husband disappeared. After a few minutes, someone told me there was a deacons meeting. They were in the meeting forever! Finally he came out and we headed to dinner. On the way there he told me they were considering giving him a raise. I've mentioned this at least once or twice before, but he makes $1,138/month. (That's our only source of income now). (Rent $575, Tuition $350, Electic $40, etc.) So we've barely made it the last three months, but God has consistenly provided. Also, thank God for Medicaid...without that we would be in big trouble since neither of us have health insurance. We also spend a lot on gas to go to church...it's an hour away. So apparently one of the deacons suggested Frankie needed a raise, especially with a child on the way. Another deacon apparently isn't so thrilled with the idea, but they've pretty much all agreed to meet and discuss how much of a raise, then vote on it at the next business meeting. After dinner on Sunday, we drove back to the church and I could tell that Frankie was down. I suspected someone was offensive or his feelings were hurt, but he didn't want to tell me. I think he fears that if he tells me something negative that was said, I'll dislike or be rude to whoever said it. So after a while he told me that he really wanted to resign! So my question was "resign and do what?" He didn't have an answer. Then he said with a smile, "Is there any way we can get by a couple of months without this income?" (As I said before, that is our only source of income...no savings or anything else). So I respond, "Maybe if we start playing the lottery." Needless to say, he didn't resign Sunday night, but he said he wanted to so much. It's really surprised me. I know he's been praying about it for a few months, but I wasn't expecting it. Monday he sent out several resumes and even called a local college about a part-time teaching position. I am praying that God will open the door to the place He wants us!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

New Issue with Baby

There's so much controversy over everything to do with newborns. So many critical decisions to make and so much to worry about. In a previous blog I mentioned that I had been reading a lot of material about newborns/infants (from info about breastfeeding to sleeping and diapers). Several months ago I debated over disposables vs cloth diapers, then it was breastfeeding on demand vs pumping. Lately I've been reading about sleep habits and training (early on). Yesterday a new concern arose. Vaccinations. In nursing school I quickly realized I disagree with a lot of common practices and the way many physicians and healthcare workers approach situations (namely medicating first thing). I am very much an advocate of natural, holistic health, but until now that has just been focused on myself. It's so much of a bigger deal when I'm talking about my child! So as for vaccinating, what to do? Up until recently I haven't thought too much about it. I know I'll get the eye meds and Vit K at the hospital, but what about Hep B...it's optional. And maybe unnecessary? What about Measles, Mumps, Rubella, ChickenPox, Diphtheria, Tetanus, Flu, and the relatively new cervial cancer vaccine! I know there are risk factors that increase the chances of an adverse reaction (prematurity, family hx of seizures or adverse reactions to meds, parent with severe allergies, etc...although I will add that my nursing textbooks states these as myths. I don't believe that though). I am just trying to figure out the pros/cons of each vaccination. Then I guess I'll go with those that are relatively safe or have a low chance of reaction. Who knew there were so many things to worry about with babies! I mean, I knew the common things, but there's tons more no one warned me about!! Lord HELP!

Friday, October 06, 2006

QUESTION FOR MOMS IN THE MINISTRY

I don't think I've written about this lately, but it's been a concern that I've had before I even got pregnant. I just would love some advice on this! OK, I grew up an only child and my mom was waaaay overprotective. She's also a 'clean freak' which she has somewhat passed on to me. (That translates to: the smell of bleach permeates the apartment, I wash my hands a zillion times a day, I monitor my husbands hand washing, and I've very paranoid about unclean hands and smokers handling my newborn!). On a continuum, if dirty was far left, obsessive-compulsive was far right, I'd be just a little to the right.
So my husband has smoker's on his side of the family and they will be easily offended if I suggest or ask them to wash their hands before holding the baby, much less changing shirts or putting a clean shirt over the smokey shirt. His grandmother has started asking people to smoke outside, but they still come right in fresh from smoking and pick up babies. How do I manage this at Christmas?
November will be beginning the flu and RSV season, and being a nurse, I know it's extremely dangerous for babies to be around children and sick people. How do you manage that at church though? People will want to hold the baby and they don't realize that just because they are successfully fighting a cold, the baby may not be so fortunate. And at our church, people don't really ask, they just pick the child up. There are lots of little kids there as well, who tend to want to kiss babies, etc. So my question is how do I deal with this? My husband's number one concern is not offending anyone. My number one concern is the health of the baby. How do you balance that? Both at church and with in-laws. (I say in-laws because I'm blunt with my family and they aren't easily offended).

Friday, October 6

This week has been uneventful for the most part. It's fall break here at the seminary, but Frankie has been just as busy as usual with reading and working on papers. He had hoped to get slightly ahead in preparation for the baby, but I'm not sure if was successful. I sort of doubt it. The church had a shower for us on Sunday, which was very nice. We got more clothes (lots of sleepers and cute outfits), quite a few diapers (cloth and disposables), a couple of stuffed animals, and about $150. Monday I did laundry...with all the baby clothes I had about 6 loads! (Including our laundry from the week before). I didn't get it all put away until Wednesday! My feel, ankles and legs have been very swollen (but my blood pressure is fine). I've tried not to stay on my feet too much this week (that's basically my excuse for taking days to put away laundry) :)
So Tuesday we went to WalMart and I used the baby money to buy a piece that goes into the carseat and fits around the infants head. I also bought a carseat blanket. It's much like a fitted sheet and just fits all over the top of the carseat (with the exception of a small piece that flips up to leave an opening for the baby's head). It protects the baby from the elements (and hopefully will discourage people from picking the baby up constantly). I bought some Platex Vent Aire bottles and some vinyl pants (to cover the cloth diapers). There are still a few things I want, but I don't think there's anything else we really need. Family insists that I'll need a rocking chair, but so far we haven't gotten one. I don't know if I will or not. We'll see.
Wednesday we went to Munfordville. There were only about a dozen there. Thursday, yesterday, I had a dr's appt. I'm now seeing her weekly and having cervial exams (ugh)! So far everything looks good. The only additional preparation I have to do is choose a pediatrician, and finish packing my hospital bag.
My parents are planning on coming up here on October 27 (I'll be 38 weeks and 3 days). My dad will just stay the weekend and mom will stay until a couple of weeks after the baby is born. My dad will just drive back when I go into labor. I wish they could both stay up here for several weeks, but someone has to take care of my three dogs that I left at home! Also they can't both be off for a month!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

October 1

I just have a quick post this morning. Frankie isn't too keen on me being on the Internet on Sunday mornings, so I'll at least be brief. Recently I told my mom something that Frankie had already suggested I not disclose. (It was about him not getting paid last week...and the same thing last month). I wasn't mad about it or complaining when I told my mom, but telling her about God's provision (a couple of people gave us money). So yesterday my mom said something about it and she was angry...complaining about the church and all. I realized my mistake in revealing anything remotely negative about the church. I told Frankie about it and got an "I told you so" look (and speech). We had an interesting discussion though about how people do not understand the life and situations of a minister (and family) unless they have been in that role.
Frankie has an uncle that once said he had no right to preach since he'd gotten a speeding ticket. (Ok, that's just dumb!). So there are expectations on a pastor's family that aren't on other Christians. Also people suggest that since we aren't being paid much we may not be in the church where God is calling us. On the other hand, the same people will quickly suggest a pastor isn't even "called" if he's at a church that pays a lot (he's just in it for the money). The list goes on and on. I do realize that any negativity should not be devulged, especially to those not in the ministry (and especially to family).
I do want to add that my mom's concern is just me (and the baby!). She worries and still hasn't quite adjusted to me being married and 9 hours away.