Tuesday morning
Well, the weather has abruptly turned cold around here! I love it, especially since Lydia has several precious fall/winter outfits. I didn't realize just how much fun it would be to dress a little girl. I grew up a tomboy (as an only child, my dad missed having a son, so in many ways he treated me like a son). I've never been much into frills and "girly" things, so I sort of rolled my eyes (to myself) when people talked about the fun of dressing little girls. I've caught some criticism from family and friends for never having put a bow in Lydia's hair. I think bows/headbands on baby's are silly (and likely uncomfortable). Last winter Lydia never wore a dress, which also had people talking. My rationale was that she was only an infant/newborn and sleepers made more sense to me than frilly, poofy dresses. I do hate poofy dresses. Almost as much as a headband on a baby. Anyway, when Lydia started walking something changed. I guess because she's bigger, more mobile and a toddler...I just started looking beyond just comfort for her. So last Sunday she wore the most adorable brown tweed jumper dress (with small pink satin bow), with matching long-sleeved cream shirt, matching tweed pageboy hat, cream tights and brown shoes. She was gorgeous. Of all times not to have a camera. UGH.
My Sony Cybershot died about two weeks ago...I'm going through terribly withdrawals! Lydia's birthday is quickly approaching, so yesterday I caved in an bought a new camera... a Canon Powershot. I hope it is a good camera and that it arrives before my baby's first birthday!
One more tidbit, Lydia has definitely mastered the sign for "milk." It is so amazing!! I'm in love with signing! (Granted, it's only one sign she knows, but still). I mean, what a way to communicate with your baby...preventing a meltdown (from either party)that is due to not being able to explain or understand the baby's wants. It's awesome. She wobbles over to me and signs "milk" and yells. I ask, "You want milk?" (Signing "milk" as well as saying it) She just goes wild flailing and smilking and signing it harder! It's so great. I don't know what to work on next. I'm getting a late start with this since it's recommended to start as early as 6 months, but it's still exciting to watch her learn and communicate.
Discipline
Wow, so much to say in such a short amount of time. I guess this is prompted by Mary's site and the comments someone posted attacking her and her friends, specifically those related to spanking your children.
Before our daughter was born, I read
To Train up a Child
by the Pearl's. I also read some of Dr. Sears' material and Tedd Tripp's
Shepherding a Child's Heart
. I was certain we should and would spank Lydia as a form of discipline to use during her early years (before other means of discipline could be used). (Somewhere around 1-3 years. Definitely no older than 4 or 5. Especially when she may be heading for something that could cause her harm. Well, our baby came along and she's now 11 months and has never been spanked/popped/swatted/thumped/hit in any way. We have instead told her "No" and removed her from whatever we did not want her into or removed whatever item she had or wanted. That has worked fine so far, but the problem I have is that she is getting older and definitely understands that she is not to pull the phone off the table or play in the electical outlet. Before she does either she will look at us and smile and jabber. If we say "No" she will either whine or get really excited and flail her arms around. Either way, she reaches for the outlet or phone, looking at us the entire time. So we rush down the hall and a battle ensues. We drag her away as she screams and usually try to distract her with another toy. That used to take a matter of seconds. Now, it's a longer, more difficult process. I don't mind difficult parenting. I expect it. I am ok with work when it comes to our daughter. What I worry about, however, is that she is not really learning things are out of bounds. When she doesn't see us, she goes for the outlet or phone. I have recently talked to a professor at seminary, where spanking is totally advocated. He said it was unbiblical and impossible not to spank. I had never heard it put that strongly before. Whereas I might could be swayed in this issue, my husband is completely against spanking her. Last night we discussed it at length. He said he thought that if we simply say "No" in a firm tone and remove the item or her, she will learn and we won't have to hit her. He tested his theory when she wanted to put her hands in his chili last night. After 5 times, he laughed and moved his bowl. He ate later. I would not mind rearranging my life for our daughter, but what is all this teaching her. I suspect she is getting spoiled and beginning to think everything revolves around her. That may not be so bad in itself, but how does that play out spiritually?? Are we hurting her future relationship with the Lord in any way? My husband also only has about an hour or two a day with her, so he doesn't think it's a big deal. He is swamped with schoolwork and really doesn't have time for much reading on the subject. I wonder if we continue at this pace and then decide to spank when she's a year and a half, if it'll be twice as hard or not? Or if we don't spank at all, then when she's old enough, use time-outs, revoking privileges, etc. if that will be sufficient.
Already Friday
Frankie's been preaching a revival since Wednesday night (it continues tonight and Saturday night). It's about an hour away so we've been having to get ready early, so I've been busy with that and unable to post (in addition to the usual daily routines).
Lydia is walking quite a bit. Well, that may be inaccurate. She's taking several steps here and there, throughout the day. She's so fun! She has a stuffed Shrek and she totally loves him for some reason. Periodically she'll just toddle over and give him a hug and kiss. It's so cute.
It's still so hard to believe she'll be 1 in less than a month! I still have so much preparation to do for her birthday parties. To be honest, I'm not really looking forward to that anymore. So much work! We have to travel 11 hours on Friday and then prepare for her b-day party on Saturday at my parents and then on Sunday at Frankie's sister's house. I have all the decorations here in Louisville, as well as cookie cutters, cake pans, etc (for each theme) so nothing can be done at either place until we arrive. (Which translates to me doing all the work.) I was excited about the doing and planning but getting it all finished from Friday to Saturday/Sunday is a little overwhelming.
Tues AM
Ok, so more on the events of yesterday. I went to the seminary clinic to have this mass checked out. The doctor there is a retired OBGYN (though not an old man, he now works at the seminary as a professor). Anyway, he tried to check out the lump with an ultrasound but it was the kind for pregnant women, so he couldn't tell anything. He said he thought it was just fluid filled (clogged milk duct), so he attempted to drain it by inserting a big needle. Afterwards, he said it didn't feel fluid filled when he stuck it. He gave orders to go to have a sonogram to tell if it's fluid or not. If not, they'll do a biopsy or just remove it.
The sonogram is at 1pm today.
I'm trying to teach Lydia sign language. The site/book I consulted to do this, said to teach 1 sign at a time. They suggest not introducing another sign until the baby does that first sign. I started with milk not quite a week ago. I would ask Lydia if she wanted "milk" then I'd do the sign. When I went to nurse her, I would again say "milk" and do the sign. Now she definitely knows both the sign and the word... when I do either, she turns toward the breast and pulls at my shirt. The problem is she doesn't yet "ask" for milk by signing. I guess I should wait for her to do this before doing something new.
Last Saturday night Lydia walked 17 steps across the bedroom floor! She's never walked so much. The most she has done was 3 steps. Then Sunday she took about 5 or 6 at a time. Yesterday was the same, 5 or 6 at a time, then she'd drop to the floor and crawl. Since Saturday I can definitely tell she's attempting to walk more.
She also is getting her two top teeth! She is going to look so odd with front teeth!
Monday
Friday night we put the crib matress in the floor by our bed and surrounded it with blankets and pillows in an attempt to get Lydia out of our bed. It worked for about 5 hours. I went to bed before Frankie and with Lydia on the floor (that sounds bad), I stretched out in the middle of the bed. For at least the last year I have been sleeping on my side (first due to pregnancy and second due to Lydia being our bed and leaving me with little room and she nurses all night). So Friday night I rolled to my stomach, eager to stretch out in my favorite position! As I did this, I had a sharp pain under my left breast, forcing me to return a supine position. I felt under my breast and there was a big lump (like 2.5 inches long!). It was very tender and I immediately got up to tell Frankie. He could likewise feel lump and there was a moment where we were both quiet, each considering various dire possibilites and outcomes. Then he deduced it was likely nothing... aren't lumps in breasts common? (Yes, but this is like a mass and it's painful). So I went back to bed. I immediately began considering cancer... chemo... death... Lydia growing up with a mom. Tears streamed. I prayed, put the thoughts out of my mind and went to sleep. Sunday was a good day, but as the night came, I again found myself worrying about the possibilities of cancer. Logically, I knew even if I was going to worry, it seemed very premature to begin! But worry itself just compounds and intensifies with children. If it was just me and Frankie, I'd not be so worried. But factor an 11 month old into things and my anxiety levels just fly through the roof at any little thing.
Today I was reprimanded and encouragement.
A few weeks ago I attended a meeting where the seminary president's wife, Mary Mohler, spoke about anxiety and worry. She pointed out that worry is the opposite of faith. She quoted C. Swindoll as saying something along the lines of worry being, "...the painful uneasiness of the mind that feeds on fears." This morning I reread some of the verses Mrs. Mohler gave that night:
Matt 6:25-34
Phil 4:6
I Peter 5:6
Ps 55:22
Luke 10:38-42
II Cor 10:3-5
Hab 3:17-19
Daniel 3:16-18
... more later... Lydia is wild! SHE IS 11 MONTHS TODAY! Growing sooo fast!
Friday Friday
There are several (somewhat random) things I'd like to blog about this morning (if I can do it before Lydia gets annoyed that I'm on the computer). First of all, regarding Lydia, I feel like since she's been sick she's regressed some. She didn't eat solids at all this week, but instead nursed like a newborn! The pediatrician said that was fine and she'd get all she needed like that. I hope he's right. Also, she hasn't babbled/talked, walked or played much. I know she just hasn't felt like it...the poor thing has been miserable. I guess she's 'catch up' and pick back up where she left off when she's back to normal. I'll just be glad when she's back to her demanding self.
Second, I had a thought yesterday. Frankie has gotten several responses from churches to the resumes he sent out a few months ago. In the process, he has actually been calling former pastors of the potential churches to get more information and learn more about the church. He had pretty much eliminated one particular church, but then after talking to the former pastors, he felt even more confident that this was not the church for us. So as he was on the phone with one of the former pastors and I was walking down the hallway, I happened to consider this: people interview former employers, interview potential physicians (we 'interviewed' pediatricians), former pastors when considering a church, teachers and schools.. but what about in the dating/courting/marriage process? We might 'interview' the candidate, but what about their past relationships. I think in a lot of circumstances, it would help. (Though not me, since Frankie didn't date).
Lydia's antsy... all I have time for! More later
Midweek
My apartment is a wreck and my Lydia is still sick. I have dirty dishes from Monday still in the sink, I'm ashamed to admit. Lydia will not be put down for any length of time and she awakens if I try to move from her side while she's asleep. (She's in my lap, which is the only way I'm able to blog).
Today she has a rash on her torso and I'm afraid she has strep. They did a quick strep test at the ped. office on Monday, but sometimes they give a false negative. She may have to be retested, or a culture sent off. She is so pitiful. I hate her being sick.
I'm sure our neighbors equally hate it, as she's been crying (loudly) quite a lot.
