New Year's Eve
It's Sunday morning around 7am and I've been up since 5am. I have no idea why so early! The baby and Frankie are still asleep, but both of my parents are awake. Today Frankie will preach at Pineview Baptist Church (where we were married).
Last night I dyed my hair...a first! It's a couple of shades darker with a slight auburn/reddish tint. I like it...I think.
Tomorrow we will head back to Kentucky. I dread it and look forward to it at the same time.
Christmas is over
Well, I cannot really say that things improved from my last post, but there wasn't a major disaster on Christmas day. We ended up going to Frankie's home church with my parents on Christmas Eve. A small crisis occured there when Frankie wanted to sit on the front pew and my parents had already sat at the mid-back of the church. The church is small and they were uncomfortable going to the front. Frankie then sat on the pew behind them. I was saved from having to choose where to sit and from feeling uncomfortable because Lydia began to cry and I left. After church we went back to my parents house for lunch. My dad didn't realize we were all eating together and he ate without us, which Frankie didn't like. Frankie was restless and wanted to go see his family so we went to Jefferson (where he's from). We spent the evening there. Lydia Catherine got extremely fussy...probably the worse I've seen her. Actually she probably is stressed because I am! We stayed there several hours. I ended up breaking down and giving her a little water to try to relieve the gas on her belly (it did work). So then we came back to my parents and went to bed. Christmas morning we got up and got ready and went to Frankie's Granny's house around 11am and had lunch then came back to my parents house around 2:30pm. We had another meal around 4pm and opened gifts here. Frankie acted like he wanted to go somewhere else, but by that time I was tired and ready for bed. My mom has this week off of work, but Frankie doesn't want to spend all our time here. Today we went to Frankie's parents house, then he wanted to go to Florence (an hour away) to go shopping. The baby has the worse diaper rash EVER. At home we use cloth diapers, but since being here and going so much I've used pampers constantly. Needless to say, her bottom is paying for that. Also I used some cheap wipes (instead of wash clothes like I usually use), which started the rash. Last night her butt looked burned, literally. It made me cry. So I'm refusing to use pampers now since she has that awful rash, which makes travel a little more difficult. Couple that with the fact that I'm tired and there will be massive crowds out on the day after Christmas...I just did not want to go shopping. So we came back to my parents house (his family was all working so there was no point in staying there). Lydia Catherine and I ended up sleeping for about 2 or 3 hours and Frankie left. I'm not sure where he went...he's actually not back yet. I feel guilty since I know he isn't happy. I never would have imagined Christmas being this difficult! Anyway, as Mary advised me to remember: "This too shall pass!..." That will be my new motto!!
Terrible Days
I've not written lately because we have been in SC for the holiday season. We came a couple of weeks ago and are staying with my parents. This has definitely (thus far) been the worst Christmas season ever. My parents have been very unhappy with me and Frankie (for a variety of reasons ranging from him "taking" Lydia Catherine from my dad to put her to bed, to us changing the original Christmas schedule). I truly wish I was in Florida. I could totally skip Christmas this year. I have cried more in the last few days than throughout my entire pregnancy and postpartum time! The only thing that could possibly make this more miserable is if someone died. The worst part is it's not even Christmas yet so I imagine it will all get ever worse, if that's possible. I'm almost at wits end...truly. Could post-partum go on this long?
Frankie has asked when we're leaving to go back to KY. My mom wrote me a letter this morning telling me how hurt she and my dad were over several things.
If I wasn't breastfeeding on demand, I would just go off for the day and leave Frankie and family and even the baby here.
I imagine that this trip has taken years off my life because of the stress. I know that Christmas is about Christ but it's impossible to focus on Him these days.
Night without dad
Well, yesterday was eventful. We got ready to go to church (the three of us) and Frankie went to start the car to get it warm for Lydia Catherine. Well, when we came out and got in the car, he said he needed to check the fluids (oil and transmission...we've had a problem with both recently). Well, both were empty! We went to the nearest gas station and he bought some oil, but they didn't have the right kind of transmission fluid. In the process, he lost the oil cap. We had to return to the apartment and he had to find someone to fill in for the evening service. The he left to go to WalMart to get the right fluid. When he returned, he said, "I have to go to South Carolina tonight." His parents want to trade vehicles with us to give us a better car. His dad told him weeks ago to drive down there one day and trade cars before we are to all come to SC. (His dad didn't think the baby needed to be riding in Frankie's car since it's unreliable). My car, by the way, is in SC. My dad took it when Lydia Catherine was born to have it worked on. So basically we were stuck with just one, almost dead car. We're scheduled to go to SC on Monday and before then we have a dr's appt (Lydia's one month tomorrow), a Christmas play at church and Sunday services. We knew the car wouldn't likely make it through all that and we didn't want to chance it with the baby. So Frankie took off for SC at 8pm and arrived around 4:30am! He slept until 11am and was on the road again around 1pm. The worst part is he is very sick...he's coughing his head off and the sputum is green! Also, he doesn't even have a cell phone with him. Hopefully...prayerfully he will return safely around midnight.
Lydia Catherine and I did ok without him. We were in bed early and she slept well...other than awaking from 4-6am wanting to babble and smile! I entertained her and she fell back asleep for a couple of more hours.
I do hate being alone though. I hate being alone for just a few hours, much less overnight. I am such a scaredy...I slept with three lights on.
December 5
i spent about thirty minutes typing and the post just disappeared! i'm so annoyed!
Lydia Catherine did very well on Sunday. Only one person asked to hold her (not too bad considering the church was packed!). I did leave early, which probably prevented more people from asking to hold her.
She seemed to do fine all day. She was very scheduled with her feedings (she ate every three hours on the minute!) She had two long naps and was alert and quiet for a few hours during the day. Even her ride back home was good. (She typically hates the car seat passionately. I thought babies loved to ride?! I think she just hates being strapped down.)
The nightly crying is diminishing. It was lasting up to 3 hours, but now it's down to 1-1.5 hours. Once she's asleep she rests 4 hours between feedings (only up once during the night). She nurses and goes right back to sleep.
She goes Friday for her one month check-up. I'm interested to find out her weight and length. Hopefully she's growing well!
As for what she's doing:
She's
gripping. She'll grip our shirts when we're holding her and won't let go.
She's
smiling. Yesterday was her first social smile. She had been smiling in her sleep before, but yesterday was the first time she's really smiled at us.
She's
making more eye contact. Those eyes are bright and taking everything in. She's making eye contact and following us with her eyes.
She's
laughing. I've heard it twice in her sleep. It melts us!
She's had awesome neck/head control since her second week. It's really stonger now though. She moves her head from side to side and lifts it off my chest for quite awhile.
Yesterday she rolled from her side to her stomach. She also managed to scoot about a foot down the couch, which was scary!
