Discipline
Wow, so much to say in such a short amount of time. I guess this is prompted by Mary's site and the comments someone posted attacking her and her friends, specifically those related to spanking your children.Before our daughter was born, I read To Train up a Child by the Pearl's. I also read some of Dr. Sears' material and Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. I was certain we should and would spank Lydia as a form of discipline to use during her early years (before other means of discipline could be used). (Somewhere around 1-3 years. Definitely no older than 4 or 5. Especially when she may be heading for something that could cause her harm. Well, our baby came along and she's now 11 months and has never been spanked/popped/swatted/thumped/hit in any way. We have instead told her "No" and removed her from whatever we did not want her into or removed whatever item she had or wanted. That has worked fine so far, but the problem I have is that she is getting older and definitely understands that she is not to pull the phone off the table or play in the electical outlet. Before she does either she will look at us and smile and jabber. If we say "No" she will either whine or get really excited and flail her arms around. Either way, she reaches for the outlet or phone, looking at us the entire time. So we rush down the hall and a battle ensues. We drag her away as she screams and usually try to distract her with another toy. That used to take a matter of seconds. Now, it's a longer, more difficult process. I don't mind difficult parenting. I expect it. I am ok with work when it comes to our daughter. What I worry about, however, is that she is not really learning things are out of bounds. When she doesn't see us, she goes for the outlet or phone. I have recently talked to a professor at seminary, where spanking is totally advocated. He said it was unbiblical and impossible not to spank. I had never heard it put that strongly before. Whereas I might could be swayed in this issue, my husband is completely against spanking her. Last night we discussed it at length. He said he thought that if we simply say "No" in a firm tone and remove the item or her, she will learn and we won't have to hit her. He tested his theory when she wanted to put her hands in his chili last night. After 5 times, he laughed and moved his bowl. He ate later. I would not mind rearranging my life for our daughter, but what is all this teaching her. I suspect she is getting spoiled and beginning to think everything revolves around her. That may not be so bad in itself, but how does that play out spiritually?? Are we hurting her future relationship with the Lord in any way? My husband also only has about an hour or two a day with her, so he doesn't think it's a big deal. He is swamped with schoolwork and really doesn't have time for much reading on the subject. I wonder if we continue at this pace and then decide to spank when she's a year and a half, if it'll be twice as hard or not? Or if we don't spank at all, then when she's old enough, use time-outs, revoking privileges, etc. if that will be sufficient.
posted by Amy @ 8:30 AM
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